Movie of the Week: Dark Shadows

Johnny Depp is very pretty, even in vampire makeup, but sadly I saw this movie yesterday and have already forgotten most of it. It wasn't convincing. Now, OK, I know it's a movie about an 18th century vampire returning to his old family home and encountering the witch who cursed him into a coffin for 2 centuries. I appreciate there's nothing 'real' in this movie at all, but - see, this is the thing - even the maddest fantasy movie has to feel authentic within its own reality.  You have to believe Superman can fly and you have to believe that a hungry vampire is dangerous. I wasn't looking for cosmic truths, but a bit of verisimilitude would have gone a long way!

I was left feeling neither shaken nor stirred, and if it was supposed to be funny, it totally missed the mark for me. Just watch the trailer and you'll see all the best bits in 30 seconds tops.

Then spend the time you saved by going to see The Avenger movie (again).

Movie of the Week: Dark Shadows

Johnny Depp is very pretty, even in vampire makeup, but sadly I saw this movie yesterday and have already forgotten most of it. It wasn't convincing. Now, OK, I know it's a movie about an 18th century vampire returning to his old family home and encountering the witch who cursed him into a coffin for 2 centuries. I appreciate there's nothing 'real' in this movie at all, but - see, this is the thing - even the maddest fantasy movie has to feel authentic within its own reality.  You have to believe Superman can fly and you have to believe that a hungry vampire is dangerous. I wasn't looking for cosmic truths, but a bit of verisimilitude would have gone a long way!

I was left feeling neither shaken nor stirred, and if it was supposed to be funny, it totally missed the mark for me. Just watch the trailer and you'll see all the best bits in 30 seconds tops.

Then spend the time you saved by going to see The Avenger movie (again).