I love Yorkshire talk

[jacey]

I just trailed down to the nearest supermarket, Morrisons on the southern edge of Huddersfield. At the deli counter I asked the cheery assistant to cut me a wedge of chicken, ham and pork pie from the ten inch 'stand pie'. She heaved it up and attacked it with gusto, but despite the enormous knife deemed to have difficulty in cutting through it. On managing to separate the segment successfully, she glared at the blade and said, "I could ride bare-arsed all the way to York on that!"

I've got to use that in a book. In fact I think the character might end up in a book!