Writing: Spider on the Web

[jacey]

I've revised the 'Murder of Crows' story thanks to comments from first readers: BS from rasfc, pariyal , brownnicky (spot on as ever with the focus comments) and ferlonda  (thanks for the bird-flight stuff ). A couple of my first readers thought that this was suitable to extend into a novel and I'm inclined to agree with them. The world is interesting - and combines SF (space-fiction with aliens) with magic, which is a challenging combination.

I've done a bit more work on 'Spider on the Web,' my potential next novel project, but I haven't quite got the bit between my teeth yet and I keep bumping up against the problem of magic.

So far I have the first two chapters and part of a third (about 8k words altogether), plus a fourth that needs some revision because I've already made an emphasis shift since I wrote it. I've got three main viewpoint characters, Hari, Lind and Miro, and I'm intending that the VP be kept tightly focused (tight third) on each one in turn, giving them (probably) a short (2 - 3,000 word) chapter at a time. Only one of them - Miro, the third we meet chronologically and even then not until the fourth chapter - has any kind of magic. The other two don't have much patience for it so it barely impinges on their consciousness.

I'm chasing myself round in circles at the moment. It's my natural inclination to show that magic exists (rather than mentioning it in passing) in this world earlier rather than later - certainly before the fourth chapter - but in order to do that I have to artificially insert some show-not-tell magic into either Hari or Lind's first chapter which is essentially two sides of a successful assasination of Hari's king by Lind and the aftermath of same for each man. Magic just doesn't fit there.

The earliest I would be comfortable bringing it in would be Chapter Three, Hari's second chapter, by which time he's on the run from the new king and for the first time realising that good as he was as an army officer, he's become institutionalised and isn't used to being on his own. So even if I bring in 'country magic' as a concept at this stage it won't appear until about the 9,000 word mark. It will be closer to the 11,000 word mark if I wait until Miro's chapter.

I'm really going to have to think hard about this. I think I may have to put the actual writing aside for a bit and go chew the plot over in a little more detail. the focus comments from brownnicky  that worked for 'Murder of Crows' probably apply here too. I feel as though the focus is still a little off-centre.

I'm probably going to submit this to Milford, so if all else fails I'm going to be able to chew this problem over with writers there. You're welcome to comment, but I'm just talking it through in my own head at the moment rather than begging for help.

Dammit, I've got a couple of other novel ideas in the queue as well. I've passed over Hari once in favour of writing the magic-pirate-adventure-quest novel, 'Sea Witch and Rowankind', and if I can't pin down what's bugging me about this and fix it, I can see I might easily be tempted to jump to one of the other ideas instead.

Right. Decision. It's 2.15 a.m. so I'm going to go and sleep on it.

Comments

[dsgood.livejournal.com]

Suggestions -- if they're not useful, working out why they aren't might be useful....

1) If magic is something which some people do easily, you could have someone doing minor magic -- with the viewpoint character not realizing it's magic.

2) Mention of an old building said to have been built by magic, or a river's course having been changed by magic.

[heleninwales.livejournal.com]

It may be absolutely fine to have the magic come in a bit later. I'm reading an interesting book by fjm at the moment in which she classifies fantasy stories into 4 kinds, one of which is "immersive" (I think that was the term, book is at home, sorry). Things like DF's non-magical Harald would be immersive fantasy. Magic is actually optional in this type of fantasy or could be very subtle, though naturally many do make extensive use of magic.

The problem I had when I realised I was not introducing the magic early enough was that the book was set in the "real" world and it was looking like a straightforward murder mystery. Introducting magic later would have felt like a mode violation. In your case, it's obviously not "our" world and thus nothing can be assumed and magic is always on the cards.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I would leave it till ch 3: 9000 words read fairly swiftly, and it's likely to look unnatural if forced in earlier (although I suppose Lind might worry about magical wards of something in the assassination?)
I'm so happy you're back to this project. I really loved the chapters you brought to Milford two years ago.

[birdsedge.livejournal.com]

Thanks.

It was largely due to Milford two years ago that I changed the focus from (if you remember) a straightforward quest novel to a political fantasy. When I started writing it it was with a view to trying my hand at a high fantasy quest. You know... Disparate group of people set out to find/restore/steal MacGuffin that will save the world...yada yada. It was more apparent to you lot (at Milford) than it was to me, that I'm really better at twisty character and political wranglings rather than straightforward gung-ho adventures.

Originally Hari was going to leave behind his assassinated king and start a new life as a mercenary with his failure (to protect said king) as a millstone round his neck. But the trouble was that Hari liked and respected his king and now he needs to know whodunnit, whydunnit and possibly deliver what he sees to be justice.

I thought complicating it by unknowingly throwing his lot in with the assassin might make things interesting, especially when they actually get on with each other. And this despite the fact that Hari thinks his day isn't complete without a good heterosexual shag in the nearest whorehouse and Lind (the assassin) has more hangups than your average wardrobe (borderline sociopathic tendencies, untroubled by murdering for money; sexually abused teen, completely unsure of his orientation so he's permanently suppressed his sexuality as is not ever going to be 'saved by the love of a good woman' or even a good man for that matter).